Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
