wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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