At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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