There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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