It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
