Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
