you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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