I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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