I think I am morally bankrupt
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Two words: nipple clamps
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