Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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