you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
