Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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