OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
