the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
