I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
