mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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