you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
