i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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