we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
