is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
