xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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