she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
