My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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