She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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