don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
