i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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