Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
