You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
