It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
