Nicole vs. Life
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
