I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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