He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
