mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
