It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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