so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
