So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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