On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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