Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
