she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You made out with two different species that night
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
