He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We got so high we made milksteak
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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