Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
