My first STD was from a foam party
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I came so hard my ears popped.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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