Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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