quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
