I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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