He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
