big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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