she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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