Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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