Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
