Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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