She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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