you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
